Just send me money already!
Q: Is this site for real?
A: You're looking at it.
Q: Why did you make this site?
A: So you can send me money.
Q: Is this a charity?
Q: Do I get a tax receipt?
Q: If I send you money, what do I get in return?
A: Nothing. Unless you found this site amusing, then I apologize for providing amusement and will try to allow the site to be more boring next time you visit to give me money.
Q: So I send you money, and I get nothing in return?
A: Correct. If you get a warm, fuzzy feeling from sending me money, then I encourage you to send me more, but I promise that the warm, fuzzy feeling is not from me, that I have, in fact, given you nothing, and therefore, lived up to my end of the bargain.
Q: That's a really long and poorly constructed sentence.
A: True, but that's not a question, so we'll call it even.
Q: Who benefits when I send you money?
A: Me. Unless you get a warm, fuzzy feeling. If that's the case, see two answers above.
Q: What will you use the money for?
A: After you send me money, the money is mine, so it's really none of your business what I use it for. If it will encourage you send me money, I can tell you that I will use it to buy my kids healthy food, reduce carbon dioxide emissions, and save the endangered Canada Goose, and whatever else you want to hear.
Q: Is all that stuff about saving the whales and putting your kids through school true?
A: Is that what you want to hear?
Q: Yes, but it is true? (Also, your last answer was a question, not an answer, so I feel like you owe me one.)
A: It's not true. I'm just telling you what you want to hear.
Q: What will you really use the money for? (You still owe me one.)
A: Fine. I'll probably use it to buy some stuff and maybe also some nice stuff. And I think I'd like to buy some fancy stuff, and maybe some shiny stuff. Everyone can use more stuff.
Q: Why did you REALLY make this site?
A: I really did make it so you can send me money. And to prove to my mother that I really can get something for nothing.
Q: What's really in it for me?
Q: What about refunds?
A: Why? Did you accidentally enter your credit card number on a site that literally promised you nothing and when it delivered exactly what you purchased, you found it unsatisfactory and decided to buy nothing from someone else instead? The answer is NO. No refunds, no store credits, no give-backsies, period.
Q: But I have consumer rights! What if I call my lawyer/bureaucrat/journalist/mother and have them sue/investigate/expose/scold you?
A: No refunds. Your legal bills will cost more than your refund, your bureaucrat will probably send me government money (and raise your taxes to pay for it), your journalist will write a long exposé piece about how people send me their money for nothing (if I'm really lucky I can be on TV news too), and this page is proof I don't listen to my mother so what makes you think I'll listen to yours.
Q: How can I have my lawyer/bureaucrat/journalist/mother contact you?
This page exists so people can send me money.
Most people say 'you can't get something for nothing', I intend to prove them wrong by selling nothing and getting something. So click on the payment buttons above and send me money.
As soon as your payment goes through, I will immediately do nothing, I will send you nothing. You will receive nothing.
I will not sell your information, or ask you for anything else.
If you can't or won't send me money, click on one of the links below to pass this site along to someone else who might.
I'd say 'Thanks', but I promised you nothing, and that would be something, so buy nothing, share this page, and leave. You're wasting my bandwidth, and they won't give me extra for nothing.